Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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