when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
your room smells of hookers.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that