I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
Love having children with random chicks
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
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I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
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When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..