I just made out with a guy for $7.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
25 Adults Reveal The Most Embarrassing Stories From When They Were Kids
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.