ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
The air was thick with penises
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
