32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
