Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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