Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
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