Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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