i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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