Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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