I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
