Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
