She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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