Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize