At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
