So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
not ubering you a puppy
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