We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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