I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
