I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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