why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
