How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
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I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
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Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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