You're completely useless in the revolution.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
