How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
A bitchslap is in order.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
