Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
