You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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