false alarm. still invincible.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
