this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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