what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
