I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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