You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Randomize
