dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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