so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
