so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
