My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
