my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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