hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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