Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
