Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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