never play flip cup with pint glasses
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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