oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
