In the future we'll all be gay
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
