After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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