I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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