This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
