Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
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I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
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I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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