VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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