Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
