You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize