not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize