the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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