What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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