You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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