HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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