Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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