just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
