I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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