wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
My vagina just recognized that song.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
