So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
My feet surprised me
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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