I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Randomize
